Im currently in the process of studying gamelan music in a class with Nick Brooke 
yet something about it evades me, so i try and write it down into this notebook

The notation of this oral tradition feels like a form of morse code, 
with no sense of rythum on the page itself, the meaning of notaion feels spare yet deeply challenging..
it doesnt help that the papers i get from nick look like they were written quickly , almost in secret..
i keep wondering if there is a great secret at work here,
in a music that seems to evade every convention of music as i know it.
but maybe its secret is in suspending my own need to understand. 

when typed the notation takes the form of morse code.
the symbolic trappings of western notation are evaded.
it seems only whats essential remains.
everything inculterated in inferred , spoken , somehow in the air

this reminds me of primary and secondary qualities in kantian epistemology
whats primary, (the pitch information, their order, their periodicity) remains,
but whats secondary (its qualia) cant meet the page,
cant meet a maps tendency to simulate on its own terms.

My eventual goal is to master the gendèr, the duophonic gamelan instrument. 

ideally composing in the macro and microtonalities of gamelan and chromelodeon simultaniously...
i think i can get there, with time..